


How to Fight with Your New Boyfriend

by sochill



Series: Knowing and Being Known (in Order to Love and Be Loved) [3]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:04:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27380122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sochill/pseuds/sochill
Summary: Evan and Jared are in the midst of figuring each other out. What they have learned is how to handle arguments.
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman
Series: Knowing and Being Known (in Order to Love and Be Loved) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1987372
Comments: 4
Kudos: 68





	1. A Collection of Scribble Covered Post-It Notes Written by Jared Kleinman and Stuck to the Back of His Door so He Doesn't Forget

**Author's Note:**

> This fic contains two fights that are not linear in terms of the placement within the series, meaning the next fic in the series will begin in a time before the events of this one. (AKA in terms of the timeline, these two fights take place somewhere in the middle of the next two fics.) Hope that makes sense but I probably just confused you more.

Step one: Apologize

Jared used to piss Evan off a lot. It was easy. It was fun. But most importantly, it got Evan to pay attention to him. So yeah, maybe Jared had the emotional intelligence of a seven year old. But he was working on it, figuring out how to be a good boyfriend. He didn’t do it on purpose anymore, piss Evan off that is. It just happened. Because sometimes they argued and after years of experience, Jared knew just the right buttons to push to make Evan snap. And he also knew enough to know that the first thing he needed to do was tell Evan he was sorry. And he _was_ sorry. As soon as he’d said it he was sorry. Even before Evan made the horrible face he made. Even before Evan stormed off. Even before he heard Evan crying quietly in his room.

But after all that he was _extremely_ sorry. He knew he shouldn’t have said it, obviously. He knew Evan would be hurt. But in the moment Jared thought that’s what he wanted. He was angry and hurt and so he wanted Evan to be angry and hurt. Again, emotional intelligence of a seven year old. But then he said it and Evan _did_ get hurt and Jared desperately wanted to take it back. But he couldn’t. So he had to do the next best thing. The _much_ harder thing. Apologize.

The important thing about fighting with Evan was that damage control needed to be immediate. The longer Jared waited to talk about it, the more Evan would agonize over it and overthink it and let his brain twist it into something bigger than Jared could fix with a sorry. He needed to fix it now or Evan would end up in a spiral and Jared might not be able to make him feel better.

He knocked on the door and let himself in.

“Evan.” He sat on the bed, not too close. He wanted to give Evan space, to make sure he wasn’t crowding him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. You know I-” He shook his head. A habit he’d become aware of in therapy about apologies that he was still trying to kick. Don’t use ‘you’ statements in apologies. “I shouldn’t have said that. I was feeling hurt by some of the things you were saying and I wanted you to feel hurt too. Which wasn’t fair because the stuff you said was true and the stuff I said wasn’t.”

“If that’s what you think then why-”

“That’s not what I think.” Jared said quickly but calmly. Annoying was the word he’d used. He knew it would cut deep. Because Evan was afraid of being annoying, especially to people he cared about. Especially to Jared. “I don’t think you’re annoying. I think you’re fun and smart and interesting. You’re awesome. And you never annoy me.”

“People don’t say things they don’t mean for no reason.” Evan wasn’t crying but he was close.

“It wasn’t for no reason.” Jared said softly.

Step two: Touch him in small ways first.

Jared scooted a bit closer and placed his hand over Evan’s on the bed. He moved slowly, always giving Evan time to back away. Evan let Jared take his hand.

“Let me think about this so I can say everything the way I mean it. Okay?”

Evan nodded. “Okay.”

Jared cracked the knuckles on his free hand while he thought. He drafted and re-drafted his thoughts in his head. Finally, he took a breath and started talking.

“I said it because I wanted you to feel as bad as I felt. And that was selfish and wrong and I won’t ever do it again.” Therapy tip number two about apologies: sorry isn’t enough. You have to promise a change in behavior and then follow through. So Jared promised and he fully intended to follow through because the thought of making Evan cry like that again made him feel sort of sick. “Because I never want you to feel like this. I don’t want you to have to wonder if you’re too much for me because you’re _not_.”

“I know I’m a lot to deal with Jared.” Evan said quietly. Jared tried to interject but Evan shook his head. “I know I am. And I know that not everyone can, or wants to deal with me. And that’s… that’s okay. But _you_ … if it’s annoying… if it’s too much for you, you need to tell me now.”

“It’s not.” Jared squeezed his hand. “It’s not too much. If it was too much I would’ve realized it by the tenth panic attack I sat through with you. Or by the thirteenth two a.m. phone call because you’re worried about some little thing. Or by the hundredth time you asked me if I was _really_ sure something would turn out okay. But none of that ever changed anything for me.”

“I just…” Evan’s voice cracked.

Step three: Hug him when he inevitably starts crying.

“I want you to like being around me.” He said, new tears spilling down his cheeks.

“I do.” Jared said instantly. He moved closer and pulled Evan into his arms. “I do like being around you. I love being around you. Come on Evan, I wouldn’t spend so much time around you if I didn’t like it.” He rested his chin on Evan’s shoulder. “Please don’t cry.”

Evan didn’t say anything but he was hugging Jared back which Jared took as a good sign.

Jared continued to mumble reassurances and compliments, he wasn’t even sure he was making sense but he didn’t care. Evan needed to hear all the good words Jared could use to describe him.

Step four: Tell him you care about him more times than he needs to hear it because it’s better than not enough times.

“You’re my favorite person.” Jared said, probably crushing Evan’s ribs. “The only person I want to see when I’ve had a bad day. The only person I want to see when I’m angry. The only person who makes me feel better no matter what.”

“Even when I say you’re bad at communicating?” Evan asked, with the slightest hint of teasing in his voice.

That was what had started this fight. And boy had Jared proven Evan right.

“Even then.” Jared promised. “Especially then.”

“You’re happy with me?” Evan asked, softer this time.

“Yes.” Jared nodded, still hugging Evan too tight. “And I want you to be happy with me too.”

“I am. I mean, I wasn’t two minutes ago.” Evan mumbled. “But generally.”

“Good.” Jared finally let him go. “You’re important to me. I’m sorry I was a dick.”

“It’s okay.” Evan said. “Well, no, it’s not okay. But… I’m okay. We’re okay. I believe that you’re sorry and that you won’t do it again so… that part is okay.”

Jared smiled. “Therapy talk.”

Evan flushed. “That obvious?”

“A little.” Jared nudged him. “It’s good though. I like that you’re using it.”

Evan leaned his head on Jared’s shoulder. “Can you tell my mother I’m using it? She’ll be so proud.”

Jared laughed, putting his arm around Evan. “Sure. Whatever you want.”


	2. A Neatly Written List in the Back of One of Evan Hansen's Many, Many Notebooks

Step one: Give him space.

The most common thing that got Jared in trouble was his mouth. He didn’t think before he spoke and when he was upset it was even worse. Evan was well aware of this. He was also aware that if he tried to talk to Jared right after they fought, Jared would still be upset and then he wouldn’t be able to talk about _why_ he was upset which would make him even _more_ upset and then he’d say something he didn’t mean and this whole thing would become even bigger.

He needed time to cool down. To think about what he wanted to say. And what he wanted to hear.

Evan knew that whatever had happened was something he needed to apologize for. Jared had been very clearly upset the past two days. What Evan didn’t know, was what he did wrong. He thought things had been going great, but then all of the sudden Jared was moody and distant. And then today Evan tried to get it out of him and before he knew it, they were both yelling.

And now, Evan was walking laps around the football field, waiting for Jared to be ready to talk. Jared was his ride home. He could’ve walked if he really wanted to, but he didn’t want to leave without talking to Jared. He wanted to fix things. So he did lap after lap until he saw Jared appear on the other side of the field. He watched as he climbed up the empty bleachers and dropped onto a bench.

Step two: Ask him why he’s upset.

Evan made his way over and sat beside Jared. “I’m sorry I yelled.” He said. “That was uncalled for.”

“Whatever.” Jared shrugged. “Me too.”

“I want to apologize for whatever I did that upset you. But I just- I don’t know what it is.” Evan said gently. “So can you tell me why you’ve been so angry so we can talk about it?”

“I haven’t been upset about anything.”

Step three: Ask him again because he’ll lie the first time.

“Jared.” Evan sighed. “I can tell you are. And you have been all week. And I want to fix it. Please just tell me what I did.”

Jared glared at the football field below. He swallowed and his frown deepened. But he didn’t say anything. Evan waited, hoping he was just trying to organize his thoughts. After a few minutes it became clear he wasn’t going to talk.

“Please?” Evan tried again. “Tell me. I don’t want you to be upset with me. I want to apologize.”

“You asked Zoe to go with you to the dance.” Jared said finally.

Evan frowned. “Well… yeah. I didn’t think you’d want to go. You always say that stuff is lame.”

“I didn’t. I don’t but-” Jared dropped his face into his hands. “It’s stupid.”

Step four: Tell him that his feelings aren’t stupid.

“It’s not stupid.” Evan slid closer to him on the bench. “I just don’t understand. Help me understand.”

“No, it doesn’t matter.” Jared shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Well I do.”

Jared shook his head. “It’s stupid.” He started to get up.

“No.” Evan stood up and grabbed his arm. “It’s not stupid if you’re upset by it.”

“It doesn’t matter Evan.” Jared tried to pull away.

“It matters to me!” Evan yelled. “It’s important to me that I understand what happened. So explain.”

Jared glanced at him and then sat back down and stared at his shoes. “I don’t know how.”

Evan sat down too. “Let me help.”

Jared nodded.

Step five: Ask him questions to help him figure out how to explain what he’s feeling.

“Okay, so you didn’t want to come with me to the dance.” Evan said.

“Not really.”

“But you wanted me to ask you.”

“Yes.” Jared continued to stare at the ground.

“And you were upset that I asked Zoe, even though you didn’t want to go.”

“Yes.”

“So… if I had asked you would you have gone?”

“Probably not.” Jared admitted.

“So you wanted me to ask, so that you could say no.”

“Well, sort of but that’s-” Jared ran his hands through his hair. “That makes me sound like such a douche.”

“No.” Evan backtracked. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I’m genuinely asking. That’s what you wanted right?”

The corners of Jared’s mouth pulled down. “Yes.” He said quietly.

“So…” Evan thought. “If I had asked you, and you said no, and then I asked Zoe… would that have been okay?”

Jared nodded.

“So Zoe wasn’t the problem?”

Jared squeezed his eyes shut. “I didn’t care that you asked her. I didn’t want to go. I just wanted you to want me to go.”

“Well, I mean of course I wanted you to go. I just knew you wouldn’t have fun.”

“Then why didn’t you at least ask?”

“Because,” Evan shrugged. “I didn’t want you to feel like you had to say yes. Or like I’d be hurt if you said no.”

“But I wouldn’t have felt like that.”

“But I didn’t know that.” Evan pointed out. He tilted his head to catch Jared’s eye. “Jared, why was it so important that I asked you?”

“Because when you didn’t it made me feel like…”

“Like?”

“I don’t know!” Jared kicked the bleachers. “Like you’re embarrassed about me or something.”

Evan was thrown by that. “What?”

“Like you don’t want me to be your date because you don’t want people to know we’re together.”

“That’s stupid.” Evan said automatically. “I mean, it’s not stupid that you feel like that it’s just- it’s stupid because I’m not embarrassed by you. If anything you should be embarrassed of me.”

Jared rolled his eyes.

Step six: Explain in great detail why his worries are unwarranted and apologize for hurting him.

“Jared, I didn’t ask you to come because I know you well enough to know that you wouldn’t want to go. And because I know you _would_ go if I really wanted you to, because you’re a great boyfriend. And I didn’t want to make you go. So I asked Zoe. That’s all there was to it.” Evan said firmly. “I’m sorry I made you feel like that. I didn’t think you’d care. But I am sorry and I did want you to go. I have no problem letting people know we’re dating. I’m proud to tell people. I mean, you’re the best. What would I even have to be embarrassed about anyway?”

Jared opened his mouth but Evan put his hand over it.

“Don’t list things.” He said quickly. “Just take the compliment and- ew!” Evan yanked his hand away as Jared licked it. He wiped his hand on his shirt.

Jared smiled slightly. “Thanks Evan. Sorry for being moody.”

“It’s okay.” Evan laced their fingers together. “Just… talk to me. Okay?”

Jared groaned loudly. “I hate talking.”

“I know you do.”

“I’m bad at it.”

“Well try.”

“Fine.” Jared tilted his head. “I’ll try. But no promises on my success rate.”

“All I can ask is that you try.” Evan mumbled before shutting up and letting Jared kiss him.


End file.
